The Root Trouble of Normal

Over the years, members of the LGBTQ community, self-identified or not, have been treated with more insensitivity, more inhumanity, and with more violence than I am able to comprehend all at once. It is both disheartening and overwhelming to acknowledge the LGBTQ movements within our nation, and the way it has justified the actions it takes against people deemed unworthy of basic civil rights or respect because they deviate from the sexual norms. Humans have a history of choosing random identifiers through which they group humans together to persecute them mercilessly; it is a vicious, pointless, and unproductive cycle. The dehumanization and derision of human beings is distracting us from bigger issues that affect our species as a whole.

As we define “normal” by a set of fluctuating statistics, I am baffled by people’s unwavering close-mindedness when it comes to things that don’t affect them personally whatsoever. If a person is brave enough to choose to live genuinely, in a way that doesn’t fit into the social norms, they are at risk of being stigmatized, shamed, denied services or treatment, and often they are at higher risk to be victims of hate crimes. Maybe it is because those who are perceived as straying from the path are a threat to our fragile social structures, or maybe society is jealous of the liberated state that the person who is brave enough to live their life however best serves them.

Either way, most people are raised to believe that there is a traditional and set way to live, and it is surprising to me that people rarely stray from this original way of thinking.

Why? Because even though we are moving forward, we don’t like change. People are resistant to the idea of “new;” however, these aren’t new ideas, but the unearthing of choice. Too much choice can lead to feelings of overwhelm, and so people feel more comfortable being given one option, which generally doesn’t satisfy everyone. In order to really make any progress in terms of justice for all, we have to learn to handle change in a more flexible way; if we could change as a nation to be more curious, explore other perspectives, and embrace differences, we would be able to understand that there’s no traditional way to live. Instead of resisting “change,” or acknowledging our options, we need to recognize that we are living in a universe full of possibilities. With all of the possible outcomes and ways to live and participate in our community, we can’t honestly believe that one person’s idea of living is the most righteous, perfect way.  

            Some of the main factors I hold responsible for the rigid standards for what is normal and right remaining in place are:

·       the modern LGBT movement changing the main goal to same-sex marriage and asserting our sameness. We’ve been fighting the idea of “normal” for decades, and reinforcing the idea of people fitting into boxes is the opposite of productive.

·        the main (monetary) contributors of LGBT organizations being a narrow representation of a diverse population, therefore influencing campaigns to be inaccurately represented.

·       the government instating policies that recognize LGBT but do nothing to change the structural inequality and oppression.

What is gaining the right to marry going to prove, what is assimilating to the norms that we’ve strived so hard to break free of going to change? People are still going to hold onto old prejudice and fight against the inclusive legislation. When the 14^th Amendment passed, the Southern states passed their own state level legislation to counteract the basic rights that had now been so graciously granted to human beings who’d been mistreated and deprived of their dignity. It takes generations for people to grow used to new ways of thinking about (and respecting) humans that they’ve been allowed to mistreat for so long.

Our goal as a nation should be to tear out the tainted structures and rebuild, to represent and respect all the diverse, queer folk. Not just formal equality will do; we need to change the way we write the law, the way we enforce the law, the way we see and treat each other. We need to queer and humanize the nation, and not just for the queer. Gay issues aren’t just about sexual; they pertain to race, immigration, sexuality, education, poverty, and more. No more of this desensitized bullshit. We need to stop looking at memes for fives minutes and advocate for ourselves and others that we represent, if we’re truly going to get anywhere, because no one else is going to do it for us. The best progress doesn’t come easily, or from trying to fit in. By standing out, it’s easier to make a ruckus, make a difference, and create a new outcome. The outcome we should aim for should be all-inclusive, embrace the opportunity that our collaboration of differences that offer us, and end the war against queer. By leaving behind all kinds of violence against each other, we would be able to open the door and focus on other important issues, like the amount of violence we’ve committed against our earth; it’s on the brink of becoming uninhabitable—for us, at least. There are bigger battles to fight than the ones we wage against each other. We need to get our shit together, band together, so we can have room to work on our planet.