Changing the Norm

In Warner’s book The Trouble with Normal he is arguing that the queer community shouldn’t be a part of the norm that they need to create their own norms. The creation of their own norms and lifestyles with identity and sexuality have been tainted by white hetero ideas of identity and sexuality. His ideas are still relevant today even though marriage equality is law, but there are still issues surrounding the sexual shame in the mainstream, but especially towards queer community.

In the past Gay Liberationist tried to strive towards getting privilege’s that were out of reach. This included access and discrimination issues in the predominantly gay community, marriage and job protection would be a part of this. Marriage was achieved, but even though Warner would not necessarily approve, his ideas towards equality should be kept in mind. Marriage equality allows partners to have legal rights within their relationship, medical and estate rights. This is important in a day and age when having power of attorney or rights to property affect so many varied nontraditional family models. The marriage license allows a piece of mind for issues that can arise when someone becomes ill or passes away. This is an important acknowledgment that there are varied partnerships that deserve legal acknowledgement. However, it brings to light questions of identities and the queer community should still be able to pursue identity and culture on their own terms, creating what is meaningful to their own norms and desires. Part of this is enveloped in his theory of sexual shame, that because there is such a strong force of sexual shame in hetero norms that it influences queer norms around sexuality and desire. 

So if we could change the idea of body and sexual shaming, would it allow freedom to those that identify beyond the binary sexual preferences? It would not only allow queer freedom of identity but also freedom in all sexual identity. Warner’s title states that “normal” may be a troublesome ideal to pursue. We need to acknowledge that there is more beyond the norm and that it can be beneficial to personal and community developments. Not only could it give queer community agency in regards to sex and desire, it would provide it for other marginalized groups such as women and people of color. In an article from Alternet it states the bonuses of going beyond the American Prude, and the five countries that have created successful sexual openness they are The Netherlands, France, Germany, Switzerland, and Spain.
5 countries that do it better-sexual prudery and America

“ Countries that embrace many of the things social conservatives detest (comprehensive sex education, pro-gay legislation, nude or topless beaches, legal or decriminalized prostitution, adult entertainment) tend to be countries that have less sexual dysfunction than the United States, not more.”

These examples of liberation I believe is what Warner is arguing for as justice for the queer community and ethical treatment of queer sex and sexuality. If we could stop making nonconforming sexual activity deviant, then we would separate the acts from the people. Those that participated in nonconforming lifestyles and identities would therefore themselves not be labeled deviant either, and then maybe the norm would be accepting diversity and multiple expressions of intimacy.