Passionate, Not Pissed

When it comes to the question of queer justice, I’m not angry; I am passionate, overwhelmed and confused.

I am an ungrateful millennial; I won’t thank anyone for the death, debt, or the social structures that those before have left to me.

I’m a lavender menace; I raise my voice in the face of violent misogyny. And not just for the privileged ideal couples, but also for transgender women, people of color, and others who’ve been swept under the rug in the movements that cry out for “all-inclusive” justice.

I am a deviant; I challenge appropriate behaviors, identities, the exclusive and well-defined sexualities and social norms. I believe in speaking softly until it stops working, and then using a big stick.

I stomp on judgment, sexual shame, and stigma that people tack to each other--based on statistics that determine some habits as normal and others as wrong--in order to support a random and ungrounded social hierarchy; what determines who deserves privilege, why is being normal so important? I am overwhelmed by the complacency with the current social situation; we support violence and discrimination against queerness within our communities and our institutions because we’ve been trained to be afraid and defensive of anything we don’t understand or anything that strays from the ideas we’ve been fed about what is acceptable.

I’m confused as to how humans believe it will personally affect them and their nuclear, heterosexual family, to coexist with humans whose idea of living involves non-conventional ways of living.

Queer justice isn’t just for these non-conventional lovers, or livers (because not everyone wants to pair up and grow old) but for all humans. All ages, races, all people, regardless of state of mind, health, gender, identity, religion, life perspectives. Queer justice is like feminism; it has a connotation attached, but if you take a moment to type it into Google to look up the definition, you realize that it is a justice that encompasses many, many people and issues, not just “gay” ones.

Ultimately, I am disturbed. I’ve read a disheartening amount of history that involves the abuse and torture of humans by their brothers, specifically from the hands of those who have sworn to protect them. Things need to change. I refuse to live in a society where people attack each other over divides that shouldn’t exist in the first place. So here are my demands.

Justice will no longer be a privilege. I don’t want LGBT reform for the affluent, outspoken, normalized queer characters. Share the crayons (or funds) with the more diverse and underrepresented branches of LGBT movements. We need to work away from normativity, not create a homo-marginalized version of it.

Acknowledge race. No, you didn’t enslave anyone, but yes, your ancestors did, and they set you up by putting other people down (through, shame, violence, and stigmatization; sound familiar?) and because of this, you most likely have some sort of privilege in the social and financial world, as well as increased amounts of opportunity and safety. Racism still plays a very active and powerful role in our world. It’s an act of solidarity to work toward making sure race is taken into account to ensure equal treatment, respect, and representation. Don’t be an asshole; be an ally, and stop yelling about reverse racism.

Stamp out sexual shame. We aren’t getting anywhere pointing fingers and whispering about how others dress, eat, or express their feelings to others. Stop bullying others to mask our true feelings; scapegoats get you nowhere. I’m sure you have your own deal of nasty habits, and you don’t want anyone picking them out for their own social climbing or security. Talk to a therapist.

Liberate sexuality! Not in a nihilistic, anarchist kind of way (no matter how beautiful it would be to exist in a completely genderless and unidentified/bisexual society). It should be acceptable and comfortable to exist in your own skin, however you identify or pursue your goals in life. Drop the, “He’s still a man to me. Sorry, Bruce,” bullshit and realize that it’s not your call to make. If someone wants to make a change about themselves, they have the free will to do it.

De-objectify sexuality. It seems like asking a lot, but sex should be de-eroticized; it would make it easier to talk about. Sex is the red thread that holds the fabric of sexuality together, but don’t forget the other aspects that are interwoven: love, intimacy, self-identity, and much more. Yes, speaking confidently and knowing about yourself is sexy, but we should be able to control ourselves when someone chooses to disclose their personal information to us. We should be able to have mature conversation without popping a boner or turning another person into a sexual object.

Ethical porn. Yeah, I went straight from de-eroticizing sex to porn. My blog, my rules. If porn is something you enjoy, it should be the kind where all people involved in the production are treated properly, in and out of the scene. I’m not saying the film has to be intimate or vanilla, but it shouldn’t condone the mistreatment of anyone based on gender, race, or any other characteristics. A lot of young people learn about sex through porn, and the subconscious messages can be damaging through reinforcing misogyny and humans as objects for pleasure.

 Don’t assume. Stop assuming that you’re talking to two women in the checkout lane. It seems small, but it can be very damaging to a trans person if you misgender them, even if you’re trying to be polite, it’s more respectful and meaningful to be neutral.

Consider the impact of retributive justice in stead of healing justice. The way we respond on a legal level to criminal acts affects the message we are giving and receiving on how to treat each other. The consequence of one person’s action affects everyone; if we respond to violence in a violent manner, we’re promoting the same thing we’re trying to prevent. In order to contribute to our social structures and ideology in a positive manner, our institutions must enact healing justice, rather than retributive.

Attack queer injustice on all levels. Individually, interpersonally, institutionally; this will lead to what becomes your ideology, which allows for the social stigma and mistreatment of specific kinds of people. Most people will stop at the individual level; what happened to their friends, how they’ve experienced things. However, to fully understand and tackle the issue, which is a terribly selective and unjust system that excludes queer people the basic protection and/or rights that most people have access to. People need to interact on a personal level with respect for each other, institutions and media need to be supportive of queer justice, rights, and respect, and the government needs to make actual structural changes rather than band-aid reforms for legislation and practices that allow for the exclusion and mistreatment of queer humans.

Acknowledge that there’s no such thing as a particularly “gay” issue. Being gay (or queer, etc.) does not give you superpowers. You’re not immortal. Sometimes, you’re going to get hurt. You still need health care. You don’t have mind control. Not being involved in politics, or at least being socially aware will affect you when no one is representing you. You’re not above the law. Gay people still get arrested and imprisoned (in some areas, at higher rates) and our penitentiaries are not effective, rehabilitative, safe, lawful, or humane. You can’t magically bring things back to life—not sure what to call this one, a revivalist? I digress—in any case, while we’re all fighting over whether or not everyone should have a say about who puts their genitals where, with whomever they choose, our most precious and nonrenewable resources are being torn out of the Earth, and we’re doing irreparable damage to our planet on the daily. You’re not a wizard; you can’t pull a Hagrid and magically procure documentation for yourself of anyone else. Obtaining or granting citizenship and asylum is an expensive, flawed and confusing process. What I’m trying to say is, regardless of your orientation or identity, there are issues that oppress and affect all humans. For some, these issues are so detrimental that they aren’t able to conduct their lives in a safe manner, forget free will. All issues can be “gay” issues because they affect many whom identify within the LGBT community.

You’re being oppressed, right now. Yes, you. Unless you’re a white, very affluent, heterosexual male who happens to have taken interest in my radical, collegiate-level manifesto blog post—which in that case, my apologies, friend, use your power for good and continue to work with us to create solidarity!—then you are being affected by the oppressive, damaging, and discriminatory social norms that we’ve allowed to fall into place. Don’t inherit the boxes; create your own path. Participate in the pursuit of queer justice! There’s no traditional way to do anything. The things we use as foundations for norms we strive for, change all the time. Our planet, our species, and the life around us are in constant stages of evolution; our culture and surroundings reflect this. Change is natural; let’s take control and move our change in a purposeful, less defined, liberated direction.

True queer justice is equal, genuine, democratic, diplomatic, respectful, liberative, unconstrained, unidentified, and healing; real queer justice embodies solidarity and flexibility. If we achieve queer justice, we will live in an accepting and all-inclusive society; everyone will have the opportunity to be heard, but they wouldn’t always. It would be diplomatic in the way that everyone would have the ability to speak up and be heard, but would not do so unless they felt they’re not being properly accounted for, when their input is necessary. Democracy doesn’t have to be drawn out with everyone’s two cents. Through this respect of everyone’s opinion, we could create a genuine and just society, where no one is stigmatized, put down, or constrained by ideas of what is proper, right, or traditional. No one would be tied down by identity, and no one would reach out to attack another for experiencing life differently. Imagine how friendly, interesting, and beautiful this world could be. Without identity, people would not assume, nor would it matter since they’re not expecting anything. I’m a passionate advocate for queer justice because it reminds me a lot of feminism in a parallel of reaching for equality while maintaining an aspect of possibility and indefinability.

Anything worth doing takes time, and it will take decades, maybe even centuries, for this change to stick; there will be resistance and kinks to work out, but the social progress will be worth it. We don’t need them to accept queer; we are demanding respect for queer in our hetero-normalized society. There are so many other important social issues we could be focusing on. Decriminalize diversity, stop shaming people for being deviants based on a set of fluctuating statistics, deconstruct social and gender norms. Queer justice wouldn’t just affect queer people; it would be restorative for everyone. In order to have a truly just and peaceful world, we need those in positions of privilege to step down and share it with everyone else; they’ve acquired it through oppressing and taking advantage of others, and it’s time to restore the balance, stand in solidarity, and shake the structure.