Still Questioning Queer

While trying to figure out how to write this post, I still am very torn about this question.  Being from San Francisco, I experience very accepting people who don’t use these orientations as offensive words; such as using phrases like, “that’s so gay”, “what a fag”, etc.  I also have not been exposed to the word queer.  While reading this book, I have learned that this word is actually used quite often, negatively and positively.  In queer theory, there is a quote on page 103 who was also uncertain about the word, he said, “Every time I hear ‘that’ word, I want to feel empowered and use it myself.  Instead, my feelings get hurt”.  Although my feelings do not get hurt when I hear this word, I agree that it is a uneasy, confusing word, that has a history.  Since I have been sheltered from this word it is very hard for me to try to convince someone that it is good or bad.  However, I will try my best.

Since I was still confused about the word, I asked my friend, who is lesbian how she felt about the word.  She said, “I like the word personally, but i don’t really use it describe myself.  A lot of people use it in a derogative manner cause the word itself means strange.  For me, it’s a way for gay people to describe themselves or if they don’t want to label anything they can say they are queer”.  After this, I explained to her that I was confused because it was so open ended and her reply was, “Exactly! There’s no correct way to use the word”.  When she explained this to me I started to like the word more because of how she explained it to me.  That there is not a correct way to use it and that it is for anyone that does not want to brand themselves.  I found a quote by Gloria Anzaldúa who was a chicana feminist and cultural theorist, she said, “The queer are the mirror reflecting the heterosexual tribe’s fear: being different, being other and therefore lesser, therefore subhuman, inhuman, nonhuman”.  I think this quotes helps explain what my friend talked about when she brought up the definition of queer meaning strange.  However, I do like this quote because it makes it known that queer, or strange is a good thing and brings light to the people who identify with it.  

A large group of my peers back home identify as something other than heterosexual.  For a lot of them, this was hard, since most attended a catholic, same sex, high school.  The rest of our friends accepted them and tried our hardest to make sure they felt accepted.  However, for the majority of them, they went through phases of who they were before finally coming to a conclusion.  For example, one of my friends went from bi, to lesbian, to transgender.  For her, I believe it could have been easier if she knew that the word queer could have helped her explain her identity until she understood/was ready to be herself.  However, I also believe that these stages that she and most of my friends went through made it easier for them to fully become who they are to friends, family, and the world. 

After I really thought about it, I believe that this word should be used as an identifier today.  Queer can be used any way that the person wants to use it and I think that brings a sort of charm to the word.  Since not everyone is comfortable using labels, coming out and being exactly who they are, or having terms that people now a days use in a derogatory way, our generation can revitalize the word queer and use it in a way that is accepted and used correctly.  I also like how the word, by definition, means strange or out of the ordinary.  This is not because I think it is strange to be something other than heterosexual, but because I believe it is a way to show people who do not accept it that they don’t care and are proud to be different and not the ordinary.  Robin Tyler, a Canadian born comedian said, “if homosexuality is a disease, lets all call in queer to work. ‘Hello, cant work today, still queer’”.  This joke made me think about how even though there are some people who still don’t approve of different gender identities, one can still be proud of who they are as someone who doesn’t fit societies norms and joke about the people who think that it is “queer”.  I think that this term if brought back and used correctly, could help eliminate discrimination that the other gender identity labels have come to obtain.

Even though older generations have a negative connotation connected to the word queer, I believe that if people start to use it in a positive way, that the older generations will see that people have learned to respect it and prove to them that queer is not a bad thing.

Overall, I believe the word queer, although confusing and not having a distinct definition, should be embraced by society and honored just like everyone who is honest with their gender.